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Bad day, Battling Depression, depression, emotional well-being, Health, Mental Health, overcoming depression, well-being

L Is For Momentary Lapse

Yesterday started out great, I was upbeat and optimistic even though the weather was grey and drizzly. Then I received an email from someone I don’t really know at all…

It is not always true that those who know us best can hurt us the most. After reading one short sentence I found myself, inexplicably crying, and not because what was written was sad. Rather, I felt that I’d been chastised by a child, and even though I put myself in the other person’s shoes, it still left an all too familiar sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

This sudden burst of emotion took me by surprise, it had been a while since this had happened to me, damn those over active tear ducts. My first instinct was to reprimand that insolent child but at the same time I knew that what had been written wasn’t meant to hurt, after all we didn’t know each other. Yet somehow, that was exactly what that short sentence had done.

I took a long, hot shower, in the hope that it would wash away the negativity that had descended on me. I turned on my essential oil diffuser in an attempt to cleanse my mood. Finally, I curled up on my bed and went to sleep in the middle of the afternoon. Something else I haven’t done in a while, consequently I was up until the wee hours of the morning.

Thankfully, when I woke up today the sun was shining not just outside but in me as well. It was all but a momentary lapse and not a step back into that dark place I’d resided in for so long!


About D.J. Haswell

I battled with depression, brought on by stress, for 10 years. During that time, I made many mistakes, due in no small part to the fact that I perceived my illness as a failing on my part. It took me a long time, coupled with hindsight, to realise that I hadn’t failed in my life, but rather that the circumstance of my life had failed me. I started my blog to bring hope to those currently suffering from the debilitating effects of depression that there is light at the end of what may seem like an unending tunnel!


6 thoughts on “L Is For Momentary Lapse

  1. Triggers can take us by surprise, can’t they? And sometimes from the most unexpected of places. Hope your day continues well; glad you were able to ride out the bump in the road.

    Posted by Hope Happens | May 9, 2013, 7:32 PM
  2. don’t dwell on it – as you say – a lapse – love it for showing you that you are actually getting better!

    Posted by Special Little People | May 11, 2013, 8:53 PM
  3. Momentary lapses are the bane of depression. Just when think you are doing well for many months bam something hits you and you fall back a bit again. I wish I could find a way to cope that helps me. Well done for finding your quick healing method.

    Posted by myheadownsme | May 12, 2013, 12:18 PM

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