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Battling Depression, depression, emotional well-being, Health, Mental Health, overcoming depression, well-being

C Is For A Cautionary Tale

Three years ago day-for-day I had a very public breakdown at work, in front of all and sundry. Not really my finest hour! This was not my first time in the dark corridors of depression, but I promised myself there and then that it would be my last.

When I went to see my doctor I honestly believed that I would take a couple of weeks off work and come back rested and relaxed. Well that was three years ago and I still haven’t gone back to work. Even though I’m doing a lot better I’m in no rush to go back into the stressful work environment that led me to my depressive breakdown in the first place.

The only way to learn is by making mistakes, falling flat on your face, picking yourself up, brushing yourself off and trying something different. No one can get everything right the first time around; a certain amount of trial and error is required.

I can now look back over those three years with a sense of peace and achievement. I know myself better than I ever have before; I know my triggers, my boundaries and my limitations. I am at a point in my life where I’ve made enough mistakes to know what doesn’t work for me, and even though I still don’t have all the answer I do know the things I should avoid.

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About D.J. Haswell

I battled with depression, brought on by stress, for 10 years. During that time, I made many mistakes, due in no small part to the fact that I perceived my illness as a failing on my part. It took me a long time, coupled with hindsight, to realise that I hadn’t failed in my life, but rather that the circumstance of my life had failed me. I started my blog to bring hope to those currently suffering from the debilitating effects of depression that there is light at the end of what may seem like an unending tunnel!

Discussion

8 thoughts on “C Is For A Cautionary Tale

  1. Have to say, I came within a whisker of having a breakdown at work back in 94. Was pulled back from the edge with seconds to spare.

    It’s a horrible state to be in.

    Posted by Gary Leigh | May 12, 2013, 9:28 AM
  2. Without work, what are you now finding contentment and enjoyment in?

    Posted by Today it Hurts | May 16, 2013, 8:12 PM
    • Well I have taken up Yoga, I practice everyday. I’ve rediscovered my love of reading, writing and cooking, which I lost during my 10 year battle with depression. I’m also planning on visiting Sierra Leon (Africa) homeland to my oldest and dearest friend. All in all life is good!

      Posted by D.J. Haswell | May 16, 2013, 8:17 PM
  3. I am relating to much of what you are sharing and it is comforting to find that I’m not alone. It is difficult for me to let go of the constant feelings of failure. Thank you D.J. for your blog and inspiring me that there is life and it can be reached.

    Posted by Tink | May 27, 2013, 5:50 PM
    • Hi Tink, that’s the thing about depression no matter how bad things get there will always be someone else going through exactly the same thing as you. It is only really through writing this blog that I have come to realise the stigma attached to Mental Illness – throughout my walk on the dark side this one totally passed me by 😉

      Posted by D.J. Haswell | May 27, 2013, 6:13 PM

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