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Battling Depression, depression, emotional well-being, Health, Mental Health, overcoming depression, well-being

W Is For Wake Up & Smell The Roses!

None of which was constructive…

Fast forward seven years and things weren’t really any better. I’d just become very adept at brushing almost everything I couldn’t cope with under the carpet. That was until the day came when I tripped over the aforementioned carpet, landed flat on my face, and everything came crashing down again. Only this time it was worse and I simply couldn’t deny the facts any more.

I did try to go to work the next day, but that didn’t work out quite how I had planned. So out of options I went to see my doctor – a different one from the last time. At least I had learnt from that experience. This time the doctor took the time to listen to what was actually going on in my life. He could see many of my symptoms were as a sat there opposite him crying uncontrollably, determinedly mutilating the damp tissue in my shaking hands.

Eight years down the line and I had just started to accept the fact that I was chronically depressed and contrary to by belief this was not a sign of weakness – quite the opposite in fact – not that it made me feel any better at the time.

Over the course of the next two years, spattered with the occasional up and lots of downs, I learnt to be patient with myself. Something rather novel for me as I’d never been very patient to begin with. There was some trial and error involved in finding the right combination of anti-depressants for me, but eventually the ups were more frequent and the down less debilitating. I was finally on the right track…


About D.J. Haswell

I battled with depression, brought on by stress, for 10 years. During that time, I made many mistakes, due in no small part to the fact that I perceived my illness as a failing on my part. It took me a long time, coupled with hindsight, to realise that I hadn’t failed in my life, but rather that the circumstance of my life had failed me. I started my blog to bring hope to those currently suffering from the debilitating effects of depression that there is light at the end of what may seem like an unending tunnel!


16 thoughts on “W Is For Wake Up & Smell The Roses!

  1. It’s amazing what we can learn about ourselves when life’s script forces or nudges us to. Good luck. Sounds like you are making forward progress.

    Posted by Ray | May 22, 2013, 5:53 PM
    • These days I’m a happy gal Ray, just took me ten years to get there πŸ™‚
      How are things with you?

      Posted by D.J. Haswell | May 22, 2013, 6:01 PM
      • Took me 20 years to be a Happy man…. Things here are good. Just focusing on my 2 kids to make sure they are ok with all that is going on.

        Posted by Ray | May 22, 2013, 6:04 PM
        • Yes, I gathered from one of your post’s that things were a bit challenging at the moment. If ever you need to chat you know where I am πŸ˜‰
          Take care of yourself and your two kids, hope things get better soon.

          Posted by D.J. Haswell | May 22, 2013, 7:01 PM
          • It’s been a very rough last 12 months. Lots of soul-searching on my part. Tons of tears, and fights and battles. Wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. Best thing I ever did was get out of that house. Now I can focus on my kids and not my spouse (soon to be ex…)

            Posted by Ray | May 22, 2013, 7:21 PM
            • I’m so sorry to hear that, but if something or someone makes you miserable it is best to get out. Children are always happiest if their parents are too, even if the parents live in different houses! Stay strong and happy Ray πŸ™‚

              Posted by D.J. Haswell | May 22, 2013, 7:32 PM
              • that was the conclusion I came to. I’m not going to be a 65 year old man saying to myself, “Why didn’t I do something when I was 45????” Well, you know what? I listened to my gut and got out. Did this for me and my kids. They NEED a happy father.

                Posted by Ray | May 22, 2013, 7:33 PM
                • I couldn’t agree with you more. Sometimes in life, you have to be slightly selfish just to keep your head above water. No point living a life filled with regrets when it is complicated enough at the best of times.

                  Posted by D.J. Haswell | May 22, 2013, 7:38 PM
                  • Amen. I NOW MAKE THE DECISIONS and choices. I now get to show my kids how much I will be there for them. I have control now. First time in 23 years it seems. I’m happy.

                    Posted by Ray | May 22, 2013, 7:39 PM
                    • I take my hat off to you. I raised my son alone because the Father was an alcoholic who thought he didn’t a problem. My son is going to be 22 this year and in his second year of University studying Maths πŸ™‚ So I must of done something right… If someone is constantly dragging you down you have to get out before you loose your SANITY, and we both know how important that is πŸ˜‰

                      Posted by D.J. Haswell | May 22, 2013, 7:52 PM
                    • Kudos to you! You should be proud. You put your kids first and they excelled because of it.

                      Posted by Ray | May 22, 2013, 7:59 PM
                    • It wasn’t always easy but it was worth it in the long run πŸ™‚

                      Posted by D.J. Haswell | May 22, 2013, 8:31 PM
                    • Most things worth fighting for are like that

                      Posted by Ray | May 22, 2013, 8:32 PM
  2. Hi D.J:
    Firstly, thank you for following my blog at Anchored-In-Knowledge! I try to check in with my followers and see what they are doing on their blogs. I like your blog, it’s personal for people and sometimes that is what we need more so than scientific “intellect.”

    You said something that rang home for me:
    “Eight years down the line and I had just started to accept the fact that I was chronically depressed and contrary to by belief this was not a sign of weakness – quite the opposite in fact – not that it made me feel any better at the time.”

    -I like this because a lot of people sadly believe that depression is a weakness. This way of thinking stems from society’s mainstream aim to make everyone “positive.” Life can be like depression itself (up and down)! No 2 days are the same, no year is the same as the last, and people change daily. Because of this, depression is almost inevitable. It’s great when we finally realize that depression is almost like a condition of living, it is something that most of us grapple with when we experience reality.
    Have you ever read the book: Bright-Sided: How Positive Thinking Is Undermining America? You might find it interesting. I’ve read it myself and although I wasn’t entirely engaged, the point was well taken. Try to borrow from your local library or buy from Amazon.

    I wish you all the best

    Posted by therapisttee | May 23, 2013, 7:58 PM

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